6 Parenting Behaviors Most Likely to Help or Destroy Your Own Children

Parenting Help

Parenting Help

In a study done  by CASA (the Center for Addiction and Substance Abuse) at Columbia University and led by Joe Califano – the Secretary of Health, Education and Welfare the aspects of parental behavior were examined to find what might trigger harmful pathological behavior by their teenage children.

What was learned from this study should be a wake up call to all parents.

The results found Six Steps Parents Really Need to Know as published in Dr. James Dobson’s Bringing Up Girls

1. Having Dinner with your children. Nothing says “I truly care about you” more than spending dinnertime with your children. More than any other day – to- day behavior, parents who dine with their children produce healthier adults because it send the clear signal that their children are a high priority. Parents who miss dinner (no matter the excuse) are sending the wrong message, and that message is unfortunately being heard loud and clear.

Interesting Teen Statistics Found in Dr Luntz’s Study:

  • …”teens who eat dinner at home three to five time per week have a lower risk of using cigarettes, alcohol, and illegal drugs, including marijuana.
  • Only 34 percent of those teen say the television is on during family dinners
  • Only 12 percent say the family doesn’t talk much
  • Of those who dine infrequently with their parents, 45 percent say the television is usually on as they eat
  • 29 percent say that the family does not talk very much
  • 16 percent say that their dinners are often cut short”

 

2. Taking your children to church or synagogue weekly. It is no coincidence that the most successful anti-drug and anti-alchohol programs have a spiritual component. If your children are taught at a young age that there is something out there bigger and more important than themselves, they are more likely to respect and appreciate the wonders of life and less likely to destroy it with drugs and alcohol.

3.  Checking your child’s homework nightly. There are two components at work here.

  1.  First, a parent’s daily participation in the homework assignments communicates that their children matter
  2.  It also serves as an early warning sign if something is off track.

Furthermore, children need to see that their intellectual development. The more engaged a child is in intellectual pursuits, the less likely he or she is to engage in harmful physical behavior.

4. Demanding the truth from your children – and getting it. Parents who insist on knowing exactly where their children are on Friday and Saturday nights are sending a clear message that not every place, every friend, or every behavior is acceptable.

” Children who tell them the truth are acknowledging those boundaries, but if they would lie about where they are, they are most assuredly lying about what they do”.

5. Taking your children on vacation for at least a week at a time. Long weekends don’t qualify because it just isn’t long enough to break the daily routine or reconnect the relationship. You need a week without their texting, your-emailing, and everyone’s cell phones.

6. Encourage them to participate in a team sport. Sorry but individual sports and other group activities like band and drama don’t count. Team members are often even less tolerant of substance abuse than parents – for good reason. When teenagers are forced to depend on each other’s physical health and performance, they are less likely to engage in harmful physical behavior. Peer pressure to do the right thing can be a powerful motivating force.

 

Parent’s now more than ever need to think hard about protecting their children from harmful influences after school and at all other times.

According to Dr. Luntz’s research, the solution is to be found in:

  • Building good relationships
  • Providing close supervision
  • Keeping your eyes and ears open
  • Enjoying wholesome recreation with your children
  • Encouraging team sports
  • Getting involved in a caring church
  • Enrolling your kids in a good school
  • Carefully monitoring of their friends
  • Talking a lot at evening meals
  • Praying constantly

These are the contributing factors to turning healthy children into healthy adults. 

 

Healthy Children to Healthy Adults: via Bringing Up Girls by Dr. James Dobson

Help your children

 

 

4 Comments

  • Stephen Jurgen

    Reply Reply

    Good points here, however, there was no need to state in #6 that band doesn’t count when compared to sports. Band does exactly the things that are listed in #6. It absolutely forces teens to be accountable to their peers and keeps them involved in positive activities outside of school.

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