1. Ignore non-constructive, hurtful commentary.
People will talk. People will say things that irritate you, offend you, belittle you. Most of the time this is not their intention. Many times people have no idea how what they are saying actually sounds to the other person. And on the occasion where they are being purposefully hurtful just remember this phrase – “Hurting people hurt people.” Don’t take it personally and let it ruin your day, week, month, or life. You’re better than that.
2. Pay attention to who your real friends are.
You will quickly find out who these people are when you:
- #1 Succeed at something. Your true friends will not be jealous, but will instead be cheering you on. They care about your best interest.
- #2 when you fail at something. When you fail, mess up, or find yourself in a very dark place in life – look around and see which friends are still there. These are your true friends – the others are only in the friendship for what they can get and will suddenly disappear when things get rough.
3. Pay attention to your relationship with yourself.
Yes, that’s right how you treat yourself matters too. Don’t say something to yourself that you wouldn’t say to a friend. Stop telling yourself that you can’t do it, that you’re not enough, that you don’t deserve it etc. Be proud of who you are and treat yourself like the one-of-a-kind treasure that you are.
4. Leave petty arguments alone.
It’s not worth your time. Just leave it alone…that’s all I have to say about that. (see how easy that was)
5. Talk a little less and listen a little more.
The key to getting people to like you is not to talk about yourself but to talk about them. Your role is to listen and ask questions. People love talking about themselves. When you talk less and listen more you will find that people actually like being around you more. Try it and see for yourself.
6. Allow others to make their own decisions.
Just like you don’t like unsolicited feedback, be cautious about giving out too much to others. If they ask for your opinion then by all means speak your mind but don’t try to control theirs.
7. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Please stop the nonsense. Don’t say you hate getting flowers but secretly hope to receive them. Don’t say you’ll be there and then not show up. Be purposeful and intentional about what you are saying. Everyone in your life will appreciate and love this about you.
8. Give what you want to receive.
This is one of life’s little paradoxes. When you give compassion, you open yourself up to receive it. When you give love, love comes to you. When you give money or material possessions, your wealth increases.If you want friends you first have to show yourself friendly. Zig Ziglar says that if we will “help others get what they want, we will in turn get what we want.” What’s holding you back from giving?
9. Keep your promises and tell the truth.
Be accountable and trustworthy. These two traits alone will get you far in life because they are so rare these days.
10. Stay in better touch with those who matter to you.
Make the effort to stay connected. Don’t be afraid to make the first move – send that email, card, tweet, or letter. Be the one to make that phone call. We are all busier than ever so this will take a little effort.
11. Always be loyal.
12. Do little things everyday for others.
It’s the little things that make the most difference. Pay attention. Once you start looking for opportunities to make a difference you’ll find them everywhere. Give someone a compliment, send a thank you card, play a game with your kids, clean the dishes for your spouse. The little things go a long way.
13. Forgive people and move forward.
Forgiveness is really a gift that you give to yourself. It has very little to do with the person who has hurt you. In fact, holding on to that hurt is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die! Doesn’t make any sense, does it? Letting go of the hurt helps to build your self-esteem because it demonstrates your willingness to move out of the “victim” role and take your own personal power back.
14. Be your imperfect perfect self.
Read: You’re Were Born an Original–don’t die a copy. Learn to be ok with imperfection. Realize that you are a work in progress along with everyone else. Strive for improvement not perfection.
15. Encourage others and cheer for them.
Lack of encourage nears epidemic levels in our society. When did you last encourage someone? Remember how good it felt the last time you received a dose of encouragement? I firmly believe that an individual is never more helpful than when full of compassion for those who are down, needy, discouraged, or forgotten.
16. Accept people just the way they are.
Just like you appreciate being accepted just the way you are – do the same for others.
“A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself-and especially to feel, or not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at any moment is fine with them. That’s what real love amounts to – letting a person be what he really is.” – Jim Morrison
17. Show everyone kindness and respect.
I once heard this advice and I think it’s worth mentioning – treat everyone with the same level of respect you would give to your grandfather and the same level of patience you would have with your baby brother. People will notice your kindness.
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
18. Give people you don’t know a fair chance.
It’s all too easy to quickly dismiss or ignore people who are outside of our existing social circles. Remember that everyone has their own story, their own struggles, hopes, dreams, fears, and people they care about.
19. Let go of those who are already gone.
They say people come into your life for a reason, a seasons, or a lifetime. Accept the fact that some people will not be a part of your life forever. That’s ok. There’s a quote that says:
“When people want to go, let them go. Your destiny is never tied to those who have already gone & it doesn’t mean they are bad people. It just means that their part in your story is over.”
20. Free yourself from negative people.
Negativity is contagious plain and simple.
“If you drop a white glove into the mud, the glove will get muddy but the mud will never get glovey.
Surround yourself with people who make you better and you will have better outcomes.